The rise of Jamie Oliver

Watching TV in my ranch recently I noticed TV Chef, Jamie Oliver campaigning and crusading for healthy school dinners for kids. Realising that he was a hero as well as a celebrity I lay in wait outside his house armed with specially-adapted sperm extractor until he emerged.

"Stand and Deliver!" I yelled as he made his way to the local Tesco to buy shellfish. So terrified was the young cockney upstart that he promptly ejaculated all over the instruments set up to collect his celebrity seed.

I guess that's what you call "Chef's Special Ingredient"

I will be distributing the collected loot to the poor next week. So watch your back...

Billy the Geez